cornsaladsurprise:

barbietalkingtownhouse:

somebody photoshop a nose piercing on one of my pictures

i wanna see what i look like 

:*

image

gacob:

they were right. guns don’t kill people. people kill people. people are now illegal and the crime rate is zero

thequeerclone:

the fact that there have no leaked nudes in my dashboard proves that i’m following the right people

are children small, or just far away?

sixpenceee:

What’s happening 

marxvx:

if i as a retail worker have to work with a dozen cameras pointed at me to deter me from stealing $10, cops should have to work with a camera pointed at them to deter them from arbitrarily maiming and killing people

horror movie opening scene
white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
white boy: lmao
they continue walking for a few seconds
*white couple hears noise*
white girl: babe what that??
white boy: i'll go investigate
*leaves her alone*
*choking noises*
white girl: zack!!!
white boy: ha ha just kidding!
white girl: asshole!
white boy: im just playin babe
white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
*playful kiss*
*things turn sexy*
*hear noise*
white boy: i'll go investigate
*he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
*maybe a thud*
white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
*she walks and he dead*
white girl: ahhh!!
*killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
white girl: ahhh!!!
*white girl runs*
*dead end*
*hides*
*thinks she free n safe*
*guy catches her*
*cuts her*
*she dead*
opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

officialburger:

im not like other teenagers, im 51

rneerkat:

thisisnotlogansblog:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

is there a month between april and june? 

may be

you can’t answer your own jokes

“why did the chicken cross the road?” “why” “sorry cant answer my own jokes ur gonna have to find the solution yourself”

kylajaykay:

mamayuuma:

"what will your kids think of that tattoo?"
my kids aren’t going to give 2 shits because i’m not going to raise them to be a judgmental asshole like yours did

i’m just going to reblog this over and over again until i give myself carpal tunnel

darksideofthatothermoon:

The most beautiful and my most favorite person on planet earth, and in all of the universe. I love and cherish every moment I get to be with her and look forward to every moment still to come. 
You make me the happiest man alive, and no one is more lucky than I

hey dat me

darksideofthatothermoon:

The most beautiful and my most favorite person on planet earth, and in all of the universe. I love and cherish every moment I get to be with her and look forward to every moment still to come.
You make me the happiest man alive, and no one is more lucky than I

hey dat me